There wasn't anytime during my high school existence that I doubted a career in Engineering was in my future. With my mother sitting beside me, happily I expressed my plans to my guidance counselor. She replied "Well, you won't have any problem being accepted into the school of your choice. You won't have to pay a dime for college with your grades. You will receive scholarships and grants." Now, looking back I think my mom should have known better than to believe this, but alas, she and I both fell for it hook, line and sinker.
And as my guidance counselor predicted, I did get into the school of my choice,
Ready, Set, Go … Let the Borrowing Begin!
I registered for summer session to get a jump on fall! An excited youth, I wanted to get through school quickly and start my promising career. This halted almost immediately. "What's this?" I asked my mother. "Looks like a tuition bill," she remarked in surprise. Turned out that
Needless to say, I couldn’t scrape together the cash to go summer session. I quickly filled out the financial aid paperwork, and lo’ and behold I received $0 in financial need grants. My father made too much money, however, he had quit his job in May (long story), and I was supposed to start school in September. My parents refused to pay for any of my college studies even before my Dad quit his job. I worked as a cook in a semi-upscale restaurant making close to minimum wage, and I was the only one employed in my family. Even with working 20-30 hours a week at that job and commuting to school (using my out-of-work father’s car), I could not pay cash for my entire freshman year. Student loans to the rescue! “Oh, with an engineering degree, you’ll have that loan paid off in no time,” advised my mother. At 17, I began plunging myself into debt that I still haven’t expunged myself of after 20 years.
Oh, and here is the level of required counseling I received by the school when I signed my first student loan papers: we watched a 20 minute video. It was a lame vignette of some chick who ditched paying her student loans, and years later when she wanted a credit card, she couldn’t get one because of her defaulted student loans! Oh, the horror of lacking the ability to rack up more debt on credit cards!
Student loan debt (end of freshman year): ~$2.6k
The Credit Card Habit Begins
I loaded up on credits, 18-20 per semester, to get as much for my money as I could (any credit above 12 credits was “free”). Starting college at the beginning of a recession, and with hours and other jobs hard to come by, I worked as many hours as they would offer at the restaurant during my freshman year. My father found a job and moved the family during the summer between my freshman and sophomore years. This had dire consequences for me as I could not longer commute, so I moved on campus. The student loans didn’t cover it, so I convinced my parents to borrow under a PLUS loan, and I would pay it. It was only $50 per month, however, when you have no money, $50 is a lot. And I paid it, on time every month, for 10 years until fully paid. Looking back I don’t know how I did it some months.
Taking out a credit card seemed like a good idea at the time. I didn’t have money for books even with the loans I had. I worked, but didn’t make enough. And I could quickly pay off those cards when I graduate with that lucrative engineering job, right? The balance quickly soared to the $500 limit.
Student loan debt (end of sophomore year): ~$5.2
Credit card debt (end of sophomore year): ~$500
Dream Turned Nightmare
I became eligible for financial hardship grants by my junior year. My father made only 40% of the salary he earned at his previous job. However, my mother decided to attend school to earn an AA in a medical discipline and essentially all the grant money went to her! Since she is the parent, and on paper she contributed to at least 60% of my college expenses, her need became “greater” than mine. Since I wasn’t living at home and supported myself during most of the year (I lived with my parents for two summers during college), I asked if I could claim myself independent. My parents refused citing that my mother would lose her grant money and their tax write-off! Also, my parents believed that since I would be an engineer, I would easily secure a job and pay off my loans upon graduation. But hey, the counselors in the financial aid office said the same thing. Smart girl like me with lots of potential will get a job and pay off those loans no problemo. Yeah, right. If I was so smart, I wouldn’t have willingly delved into such a financial mess! I’m a dumbass.
To make matters worse, my junior year was disastrous. Upon the advice of my parents and college counselor, I didn’t work. The counselor said, “The junior year engineering curriculum is very challenging. You need to have the time to focus and study, so don’t use the time working.” I followed the advice, but instead I spent the time worrying about money. I didn’t even have money for laundry, and I often washed my clothes in a laundry sink and hung them in my room to dry. Not working was a BIG mistake! This was the first semester I didn’t make Dean’s List.
What? … I Can Work in Any Engineering Discipline? Sign Me Up!
On top of the money situation, I followed my friend’s advice (who was a professor at
However … if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is. In general the faculty in Engineering Science is slanted towards Mechanics and Material Science (the department is actually called Engineering Science and Mechanics, but the degree is only Engineering Science). I strongly disliked Material Science. Guess what? All the coursework had a Material Science bent! I hated it, but I felt trapped. If I changed majors, how would I pay for my last semester with subsidized student loans no longer available?
Of course looking back, there were ways. But in the frazzled mental state I was in, I just didn’t see them and didn’t take the time to give it thought and brainstorm potential solutions.
BTW I went back to that friend in my senior year and told him what Engineering Science really was. His reply? “Oh, I didn’t know.” Well, neither did the majority of my Engineering Science classmates. They felt lied to about the promises the Engineering Science department made as did I. And as I began looking for work after graduation, my negative feelings regarding Engineering Science would become much worse.
Student loan debt (end of junior year): ~$10k
Credit card debt (end of junior year): $1k (limit raised to $1k!)
Graduation: Gift or Curse?
Senior year is a
blur to me. I disliked my coursework. I passed up an opportunity to co-op because I believed graduating as quickly as possible would be best (another BIG mistake – which I’ll discuss in another post). There were times I only had a few cents to my name, and I was in despair. I did graduate with an Engineering Science degree and a minor in Mathematics – in addition to a severe case of depression. I was so disgusted with myself, my choices and my degree that I didn’t even retrieve the piece of paper from the registrar until several months after I graduated.
Student loan debt: ~$15k
Credit card debt: $2k (applied and received more credit cards!)
What I Learned in My Undergraduate Education
What did I learn in undergrad? Do not take advice from anyone unless you KNOW that they are aware of what they are talking about! Do your own research into options you have, and do some homework. Often you can’t easily go back and change the choice you’ve made. And that choice has the potential of bringing you reward or pain for years to come!
In my case pain … because as I said, I’m a dumbass. Just because I’m an engineer and a “logical” thinker doesn’t mean I can’t be naïve and make poor decisions.
Finally … Time to Start a Career!
Even though I moved back in with my parents due to severe poverty, the autumn after I graduated brought me new hope. Even though I was saddled with over $15k in student loan debt, $2k in credit card debt and a degree that didn’t live up to expectations, the depression lifted and with new vigor I researched techniques on resume writing, interview techniques and job hunting. The thought of beginning a career and paying off my debts brought me energy.
However, it became obvious as I started searching for work that nobody in industry knew what “Engineering Science” was. The only place that this HONORS Engineering degree held any clout was (and is) at
Well, I don’t think the student loan debt collectors will care about that …
Next: The Year Long Job Search
